Trend Setter

Here is something I have noticed: when my posts mention PORN, PENISES, PORN, SEX, PORN, or, weirdly enough, THE MYSTERY METHOD explicitly then there is a serious jump in the number of hits.
For example: the post titled "Porn" has nearly a hundred views. The post called "How To: 4," which talks about my displeasure that the Mystery Method is a thing, has almost 200.
Curious.

I think, also, that most of those are views from the international circles.
Hello, non-Americans. I'm not a porn website.

ALSO! I think I lot of people search for the Mystery Method, because they're lonely, and a link with "virgin" in the title probably sparks their attention, because hey, they're one of those! (Yeah, I said it.)

Also, blogger allows me to see what searches have brought people to the blog. Good work, Google, you  win again.

Most are innocuous...

The one that has the highest number of referrals is "Virgin Mary Porn."
Also it shows up multiple times.
Is anyone else as worried as I am?

Also, apparently, Courtney Love it a big draw.
Who knew?

Guess I'll just need to talk about PORN and THE MYSTERY METHOD more.

Moral of the story: I capitalize the stupid things people are into because I want them to see my judgement.

Everything In Life is The Opening for a Porno

The title says it all.
That is the thesis to the greatest essay ever.

In a fitting room? PORNO

Getting a package delivered? PORNO

Private tutoring session? PORNO

Buying a cake? PORNO

If you watch very much porn, you start seeing the situations everywhere. Kind of weird.

Have you ever been called into the office of your very attractive professor? If so, you know that you get really self-conscious of "asking what you can do to boost your grade" and "being willing to do anything" and "my it's so hot in here, let me take my jacket off...oh wait, I don't have a bra on!" and then you're twenty minutes deep in a sex movie. Weird.

I guess, in reality, the point of this post is to let you all know that you can live the porno of your dreams. Believe in yourself...and your genetalia.

Moral of the story: All day er'ry day!

Porn

I recently stumbled across this series of images...and I am fairly sure it is also a book and a calendar and probably a series of tacky posters too.
For those too lazy to click the link, I'll describe it.
Moderately attractive to fairly homely men do domestic chores or just perform common co-habitational courtesies.
It is called "Porn for Women."
Obviously! Because women are only turned on by seeing a man putting the toilet lid down, or agreeing to take out the garbage, or do this dishes.

Of course.

It's funny. I know it is intended to be funny, but it is just one example in a string of things that stumbleupon has sent me to that imply that women can only be pleased by having a man clean or do chores...so I'm going to use it as a jumping off point for today's post.

You know what is porn for women? Porn.

Why wouldn't it be?

Gollum is all about clean kitchens!

I'm not saying that porn is great for feminism, I mean...obviously that isn't the case. But this is about women getting aroused, not feminism.

If I'm going to watch porn I want to see some bimbo getting nailed, not some guy with a pencil mustache scrubbing a lasagna pan. Boo.

Look at this guy! He is...oh, how do I put this...not at all good looking.

Though, let's be honest, the men you see stickin' it to skanks in porn aren't real prizes either. In fact, I've seen some really horribly ugly men boning some fine bitches. You'd never see that in real life! Four guys in a van could never roll up next to a hot girl and convince her into a gang bang, and oh how convenient!-she isn't even wearing a bra or underwear! Thank god!

Porn is unrealistic to say the least. But at least it isn't stupid like photos of men sweeping.


Moral of the story: Funny video about how ladies love porn.