Bringin' It Back

I've spent the past week at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, Oregon.

Hold your applause.

This is a family thing that we do every year, to come and see 7 plays in 4 days (or 6 in 3, or 8 in 4 or whatever combination we can work out). Usually we have 4 Shakespeare plays and 3ish other works of theatrical mastery. Impressive, no?
Shakespeare wrote some pretty awesome plays.
Othello, Macbeth, King Lear, Hamlet, and that one about impulsive idiots who fall in 'love' and kill themselves
All great works!
He spent a lot of his time coming up with and using fun words.

Many of these were fun words for 'a whore.'

Being here in Ashland, watching 10 or 12 hours worth of actors yelling at each other in Elizabethan English reminds me that these words tend to be AWESOME.
And I am bringin' them back into the vernacular!

So here we go:

Strumpet! (I always think of the word 'trumpet' when I hear this...I guess they're both things that are easily bought, make loud noises, and can be full of other people's spit if you aren't careful)
Jezebel!
Fornicatress!

Fuzzy, Cute, and Slutty

Shrew!                      Apparently this thing is also a shrew ---->
Tart! (not just a dessert anymore, it's now also a thing to call a slutty woman)
Harlot!
Tramp! (also a delightful Disney character)
Wench! (no, not a wrench, a wench)
Hussy!
Jade!

Now when you need to tell a woman that she is a skanky, no good, slutty, whore muffin, you can call her one of these words instead.

Moral of the story: Being a dork can come in handy when insulting the easier members of my gender.