Excuse Me, Sir, But Your Pants Are On Fire

I promised you a rant about cheaters, so here it is.

Cheating is, without a doubt, the most inconsiderate, cruel, and hurtful thing you can do to someone you have professed to care about.

Here is the set up:
You (T) are dating someone (S), and you two have been together for...uhm, say a year and change. Peachy! You've met the families, had a holiday season together, hung out, you talk all the time, you've had a one year anniversary, and by all accounts you are in a serious, monogamous relationship.
Then you start talking to someone from class (R), you two get coffee, have study sessions, sit together each class session and suddenly you realize that you really like this new person and want to see what it would be like to be with them.
That is okay.
Feelings change.
But maybe you still have feelings for S? Or you don't want to let go of that relationship?
Sure.
Okay.

Here are your options:



a) You stop talking to R as much and make sure they know you will only be friends with them and you love S and that's that. You put renewed effort into the relationship with S and stay strong. You will feel like a jerk for being tempted, but you've made a choice and you stick to it.

 
Verdict: Thumbs up, but you have to keep an eye on yourself and be careful about putting yourself in temptation's way again.
b) You decide that your relationship with S is not what you want, and while you still care about them, you are no longer emotionally fulfilled by the relationship and R. You break up. You wait the proper mourning period and start dating R. It will be hard, and S will be more upset for longer, but you still did the right thing. It's a little shitty that you overlapped the new person and S, but it could have been way worse.
Verdict: You did not betray either of their trusts, but you blurred the lines that distinguish relationships, so you're not a great person but you're not a total wang either.


c) You break up with S, but you don't start going out with R either. You realize that if you had this relationship and if you had been really committed to it, you would never have been tempted by R, AND that if you really want to be with R, you can find them later but you don't want to start that relationship right off the tail of the previous one, because that could end poorly and you'll resent R and put everyone through more turmoil.

Verdict: You realize that is was wrong to be tempted, and you don't want to hurt S, but it'd be worse to continue on pretending that S is all you want and need.


d) You say "fuck it" and then literally fuck it. Without any consideration for either S or R, you start sleeping with R while continuing your relationship with S. From one you get the thrill and adventure of a new relationship and new sex, and from the other you get the steady, loving relationship that assures you that you won't die alone. Eventually S will find out, or R will discover you are in a relationship. If R knew you were in a relationship, that makes them as bad of a person as you, and if they didn't know, then you have cheated on two people now, which is really shitty. S will be heart broken, because this relationship they put time and effort in to has crumbled apart and they've been made to feel worthless and disregarded because you went somewhere else for affection. R will feel shitty because no one ever wants to the "the other person."
Verdict: I hate you. You lied to two people who cared about you and, no matter what you do, you have proved that you cannot be trusted and do not deserve the love of another human being.

It is sad to say that most people do not choose option A or C... many choose B, but even more go with D, because, apparently, "fuck it, only my feelings matter" is the motto of the 20somethings these days.

It is also important to note that, because of how most cheating occurs, the phrase "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater," applies 90% of the time.
Cheating reflects on a selfish, haphazard nature wherein you care only for your own satisfaction and feelings without regard to the person or people you're hurting.
I concede that there are some special situations, but really, if you're unhappy in a relationship and instead of breaking up and moving on, you just move on without the other person's knowing, it means you're kind of a douche.

Moral of the story: Stop being an asshole.